Usually related to experiences that have occurred during life, emotional dependence requires a lot of support to be overcome . Taking care of your mental health and seeking help from a professional are the first steps to treating the symptoms of emotional dependence.
There are people who, even though they are functional adults, work and have responsibilities, cannot make decisions on their own or even need constant attention. This is called emotional dependence.
If you want to understand a little more about this behavior pattern, how to identify it and overcome it, follow along!
What is emotional dependence?
Emotional dependence is a behavior where the individual needs another person to be happy, emotionally satisfied or even make their own decisions .
Typically associated with romantic relationships , emotional dependence can occur between family members, friends, pets, professional relationships and even substances, such as alcohol and drugs.
Even though it is natural behavior to need other people, a lack of self-confidence can make these individuals depend exclusively on something to maintain their emotional balance , without finding this happiness within themselves.
In addition, those who suffer from emotional dependence also feel insecure about their own responsibilities. Other common symptoms include: the person feels rejected and has problems with physical, mental and social health .
What are the causes of this pattern of behavior?
There are several possible causes of emotional dependence, such as:
- Abandonment: children who are physically or emotionally abandoned by their parents may become emotionally dependent;
- Very protected children: these tend not to have enough maturity in adult life to feel safe;
- Insecurity: the person depends on others because they don’t believe in themselves;
- Self-esteem problems : people who don’t value themselves always have the impression that others are better and, because of this, more capable of making decisions, for example;
- Abusive relationships: Previous toxic relationships can shape the way people behave in the future;
- Childhood trauma: these generate low self-esteem that causes the person to cling to others as if they were their only source of support.
How to identify an individual with emotional dependence?
People who suffer from this pattern of behavior tend to demand presence and dedication from the people they are in a relationship with. As a result, a common symptom of emotional dependence is abuse. For this reason, the individual may even forbid their loved one from having a separate life.
This isolation occurs mainly due to insecurity. Often, the dependent person does not even realize it and ends up confusing the attitudes with displays of affection or love .
In this way, the person suffocates the other person with their demands, always wanting to be the center of their life and with a constant fear of losing them . This makes the other person feel trapped in the relationship, as if they were responsible for the other person’s happiness.
What are the symptoms of emotional dependence?
A person with emotional dependence does not have a healthy relationship with the person they depend on. In addition, the symptoms of emotional dependence are self-destructive behaviors, such as:
- Attributing your achievements to others;
- Emotional blackmail;
- Excessive jealousy and distrust;
- Difficulty expressing oneself;
- Demand attention all the time;
- Inability to recognize your qualities;
- Dissatisfaction;
- Insecurity;
- Lack of self-esteem;
- Manipulation;
- Fear of rejection and loneliness;
- Fear of judgment;
- Not imagining yourself alone and feeling bad without the object of dependence;
- Do not make decisions alone;
- Need for praise and recognition;
- Possessiveness;
- Submission;
- Boredom.
How does it affect mental state?
All of these behaviors generate a constant search for approval, attention and control . Therefore, as a consequence, they cause stress in the individual, which can lead to other disorders such as anxiety or depression.
Furthermore, if emotional dependence occurs within a loving relationship, it can result in abusive relationships , mainly due to the fear of loneliness.
It is important to consider that the mental health situation, in general, is worrying: a survey conducted by the global corporate innovation company The Bakery stated that mental health is the biggest concern of those interviewed , with friendship and family coming in third and fifth.
How to deal with this problem? The treatment to overcome
It is important to emphasize that emotional dependence is not healthy for either the person who is dependent or the object of their affection.
Any relationship that involves a sense of ownership needs to be observed and, if it is a problem, treated. Some attitudes that can help to deal with it are:
- Identify thought patterns: try not to focus only on negative issues and try to have a more realistic view of yourself;
- Investigate the origins: evaluate the causes we mentioned and investigate whether any of them have already occurred;
- Practice activities that give you pleasure: remember hobbies you practiced before having that person by your side and realize that you can do things without needing the other person;
- If you realize: understand that you depend on another person and try to analyze why this happens;
- Value yourself: develop self-esteem, value your own opinions, recognize your skills, qualities and achievements;
- Therapy: seek the help of a professional, mainly because, as we mentioned, this behavior can lead to other disorders such as depression .
Remember that all of these processes are time-consuming and often uncomfortable. Because of this, patience is required from both the addict and everyone around them.
What can I do to get out of this emotional state?
There are many beliefs about emotional dependence. The first one is that the dependent individual is actually demonstrating love and how much he or she really cares for the other person .
However, feelings cannot be confused, as dependence creates control over the other , poisoning the relationship.
Another belief is that people need to be in relationships to feel happy and fulfilled. Creating expectations can result in needy and dependent individuals .